We have good family friends who are a young couple. He is under construction while his wife is an extremely astute businesswoman. They got married a while ago in a glitzy ceremony and were blessed with an absolutely stunning baby daughter. His business took off and they moved into a leafy part of Nairobi which was just perfect for the baby to play and provided a serene environment for them as a family.They were the envy of many a young couple in this town as they were a quite perfect match. They had date nights together, road trips as a family and visited both sides of their families as often as possible. One day she realised that her husband had been cheating on her for a long time and she was utterly devastated. She, being such a strong woman could not believe that she would ever go through what so many other unsuspecting women go through in this town. Her world crumbled before her eyes and it took all of her strength not to have a complete breakdown. As she watched her daughter giggle and play every morning over breakfast completely oblivious to what her mommy was going through, that gave her the strength to move on and pick up the pieces of her fractured life.

You know for many of us men, we don’t realise the hurt that we put the women in our lives through when we do these things. It’s all fun and games as most of us rather enjoy having our cake and eating it until that bubble bursts in one ugly scandal.The fact is there will always be someone more beautiful than your wife, someone who drives you wild and makes you lose all your inhibitions. The only thing you must remember is life is what you make it. Your wife may not have the world’s definition of beauty but she is your queen and quite frankly what anyone else thinks is not important.She may weigh a great deal or exhibit any other traits that you feel makes you uncomfortable about her but the only pertinent questions you need to ask yourself is does she love and support you?Does she have your back through thick and thin? Does she put up with all your annoying habits and still believes in you and encourages you no matter what? These are questions many of us men never ask really.

Ask any man who’s been married for 30 plus years and they’ll tell you the physical attraction waned a long time ago and the intrinsic qualities he saw in her as a young woman are what sustains him now. Her respect for him, her warmth, her heart, her indomitable spirit especially when the road gets bumpy which is definitely bound to happen are all the things you can’t put a price on.It’s a shame really that for many of us men, we hardly ever focus on these intrinsic qualities but instead focus on the physical which always inevitably fades over time. You see, any man whose marriage you admire has taken the time to painstakingly water his grass so to speak. It hasn’t been easy for often the journey is arduous but he never loses sight of what he has in her. When your wife walks out after your little escapades, the pain leaves you feeling hollow for you know a part of you died the moment she walked out. Most of us can’t even cook so even the basics of making a cup of tea becomes a tedious exercise. Sadly, many only realise just how much she used to do for you when she isn’t there anymore.

Even in your career, many complain about how lousy the job or the paycheck is and lose sight of the fact that you actually have a job. A job no matter how menial you think it gives you the discipline and experience to set you up to do and achieve more. Give it your best even when you hate it and it will take you places you never thought possible.You must deliberately set out to water the grass in your career and as it blossoms, it will open up opportunities you can only dream about.Water is life sustaining on its own for, without it, you will surely perish. When you admire a CEO out there because his paycheck has been made public, stop and ask yourself how long it took for his grass to look that green.When you see a married couple in their 60’s or 70’s still smiling at each other, stop and ask yourself how much it took for their grass to remain that green. The key word here is water…

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